San Francisco (pics updated)

So where do I begin? We were sitting around in the apartment in Vegas and we were semi-bored. I was reading something online and just blurted out “Why don’t we go to San Diego, or San Francisco”. Jamie said, in his normal manner, “well come on then motherfucker lets go”

It took me a minute to realize he was serious, then I started packing my shit and we informed Shawn of the new plans, to drive to San Francisco. We started driving at like 6 in the morning and drove up through Beatty and Tonopah to Yosemite National Park. That place was absolutely awesome, reminded me a lot of Sweden actually.

Yosemite

More Yosemite

We stop at about every 25 feet to take a picture so we moved at a snail-like pace. We also stopped somewhere to take pictures in the snow, Jamie and Shawn went a little higher up on the hill and I was about to take a picture of them when I see a snowball being thrown at me through the camera-lens. I ducked with spiderman-like flexibility when all of a sudden my feet disappeared from under me as it was pretty fucking icy. I slipped and I caught myself and was pretty proud of the fact that I didn’t fall, until about five seconds later I did a full 360 spin and fell right in the snow. A family of three were right next to us videoing their kid and he turned around to video me as I slammed head first into the snow. I think I might make a guest-appearance on Americas funniest homevideos at some point soon.

Their big ass grins are because I fell literally five seconds before this.

Then we make it into California and onto San Francisco, which is a very cool place. We came in over the Bay Bridge and drove right in to find a hotel somewhere, we found a decent one at the Lombard/Octavia intersection called Marina Inn and we got us a room.

Our hotel, Marina Inn

The very first night, was the night of 4^th of July so we took a walk out to see the fireworks in the Bay. We walked down to Fisherman’s Wharf and made it just in time to watch the fireworks and shit, it was absolutely packed there. It was pretty late by the time that was over, so we went to get some rest after having been in the car all day and waited until next day to start doing some stuff.

Fisherman's Wharf

We got up way too early, at around 8 am, and I can count on one hand the times I’ve gotten up at 8 am in the last year, we went down to take the Duck Tour when you ride around on an amphibious duck and it makes for a quacking time. They gave us these little whistles that makes duck sounds when you blow in them, and as Shawn has a tendency to like things he can blow he got right on that and every now and then you’ll randomly hear him quacking at people on the street, or wake up our neighbors with quacking noises or just being randomly fucking obnoxiously annoying. Shawn has also been walking around talking with a lisp ever since we got here, that’s pretty brutal to have to wake up to him making quacking noises and then starting to say something like “snookums baby are you alright?” He needs to be locked up, I think. The quack-mobile set sail out to go around the bay for half an hour or so and we rode around the city for another forty-five minutes, I’d guess. After this, Jamie felt the calling and we had to go to Castro. The big rainbow flag greeted him home, and I am not making this up, he gets out of the taxi and he throws his arms wide open and yelled “Viva la Castro, niggas, I’m home!”

Jamie is home

I’m pretty sure that’s what he said anyway, my memory is a little fuzzy as this was a couple days ago but I think that’s as accurate as can be. We walked around there for a while and then took a cab back to eat dinner. We found some extremely cheap and non-touristy place that cost about $200 for dinner and where lemonade was like $5 per glass, it was brutal. Shawn is on his diet now so he had to drink their expensive ass lemonade and couldn’t have any dessert. As you guys know by now, me and Jamie are both very supportive friends and we like to make it as easy as possible for him so when he waiter asked if we wanted dessert, of course you know what we said. HELL FUCKING YES WE WANT DESSERT, just because fatboy can’t have any doesn’t mean we can’t. Key Lime Pie for him and Crème Brule for me, the look on Shawns face when he was staring at us eating was heartbreaking, if it wasn’t for that it was so incredibly good I would’ve felt a little bit of sympathy for the poor guy.

Proverb poster will be out in stores late August

The next day, we decided to get even more adventurous and we rented bikes to bike the Golden Gate. Yeah, that idea sounded just as good to us as what you’re thinking. All three of us have a pretty hard time moving ourselves around the apartment much less biking for 9 miles. It was brutal. I actually thought it’d be even worse than it was, but I personally felt somewhat fine most of the time, Jamie took a lot of stops to take “pictures”. An awful lot of picture stops, actually, more than his camera phone most likely can hold. Shawn on the other hand was a trooper, he was pedalling away like a motherfucker. On flat ground and uphill he had a lot of trouble, but he was really good at the downhill parts. He had those down pat. He was also excellent at the rest-stops, that might’ve been his shining moment of the entire bike ride. Then we went home by ferry because there’s no way we were pedalling back. All of us got pretty badly sunburnt on this little trip, to the extent that both me and Jamie look like Rudolph with glowing red noses and my face, arms and hands just hurt so fucking badly that it feels like I’ve been set on fire. It hurts.

Brave bikers about a third of the way of the eight mile trip. We're still standing.

Then we went to another restaurant. After we get done with the meal, Shawn looks at me with a completely serious face as he was looking at the finely shredded cheese laying in a bowl next to his plate. He goes, “How much if I snort a line of cheese?” I started laughing, then I remember that he’s actually broke and he was serious, I said I’d give him a hundred… he lined up the line of cheese and Jamie said “you fucking crackheads I’m out of here” and he left. Shawn couldn’t quite find something to snort it with and considering we were in a four-star restaurant he did give the idea up, too bad. After this we went to drink, and I love Guinness so I ordered one for me and Shawn both. The faces he made when he drank that which he called liquid death was priceless. I asked if he wanted another one and he said that he’d honest to god rather drink urine… somehow it wasn’t his cup of piss, or however the saying goes. San Francisco has been a lot of fun and definitely one of the best trips I’ve been on, we’ve done so many things when we’ve been here too that we’ve been up from early morning to late night with very little downtime just laying around. Me and Shawn went driving down Lombard yesterday too and after he got done driving the crooked part we had to do it all over again so I could drive it, we’re retarded like that.

Curvy, curvy road