Why I'm never drinking alcohol again

Monday night might have been one of the most messed up nights in quite a while. I was down playing a little bit of this and a little bit of that down at the casino, jumping between 2/5 No Limit and 15/30 Omaha just being bored and not playing my best. I dropped a thousand quite quickly without needing to do so at all, I just lost by playing badly. Billy had his girlfriend in town and their relationship has been quite rocky lately, I guess, because he was telling us some stories about how him and her need to break up etc. Anyhow, she flies into town and Billy is broke. She has a few hundred thousand and gambles real big on slots and she wouldn't give Billy $100 to go play poker on, and this set him off completely. He started ordering black russians and drinking them a couple at a time when I left the casino, and I had no idea what effect that would have on him!

I go back to the hotel and I lay in bed just relaxing watching TV with Jamie and Shawn when Billy calls on the phone. I answer and he's just yelling and screaming that he has had enough, he's leaving. He was yelling "Are you coming or not? I'm leaving right fucking now."

I didn't really think any more of it, so after we hang up I go back to watching TV. 10 minutes later Billy comes storming in through the door, blood running down his face, hands and mouth. He looks like he's been in a fucking war. He's yelling and screaming that he has to get the fuck out because "the bitch has gone crazy". I was thinking what the hell just went down here when he grabs his stuff and starts going out, we leave together with him and I'm still trying to figure out what happened. He says him and his girlfriend got in a fight, and while Billy is a semi-little guy she's a big girl so she apparently laid down the law. Anyhow, we run around back and forth while Jamie keeps getting phonecalls from Billy's girlfriend and it was just all kinds of drama for several hours. To make a long story short, I end up getting him a hotelroom as he's not allowed back in the hotel where the fight was at so I paid up the $90 to get him a room at the Intercontinental. I walk with him to a taxi-cab so we can go over to the hotel when he all of a sudden decides that he's not going to any fucking hotel, and that we can all just go fuck ourselves. This pissed me off to a great extent so I just decided to say screw it, I'm done, if he wants to be like that then he can walk around New Orleans drunk as hell and sleep on a park-bench. I go back to the hotelroom and Jamie goes to find Billy. I call Jamie about fifteen minutes later and I ask where he is, he says "I'm sleeping in the truck with Billy."

...

Well that doesn't sound right when there's an empty hotelroom at the Intercontinental, I told him that we'll come meet up with him and drive over to the hotel so we can get Billy in bed so this neverending night will actually come to an end. We finally get him into the hotel, and get checked into the room when Billy says I need something to drink, I'm going to find a vending machine. It's now about 8 AM and he walks out the door to find a vending machine. I take a taxi back to my hotel so I can get some sleep. Four hours later, at around noon, I talk to Jamie and he is still not back from the vending machine. I know sometimes vending machines can be in awkward spots but I have yet to find a vending machine that is four hours away from the hotel-room in a hotel. Well, great, I thought... that's just fucking brilliant. He eventually shows up at 4:30 PM, after allegedly sleeping on a park bench next to two homeless people clutching a McDonalds bag containing their breakfast menu in their arms. Somehow that sounds to me like a Kodak moment. Before you jump on us thinking we're assholes for leaving him hanging dry, we struggled with him for four and a half hours between 4 AM and 8:30 AM trying to get him into a hotelroom, get him somewhere he wouldn't hurt himself or others (he got in his truck saying he was driving to Philadelphia) and generally putting up with his pain in the assednessessess.

All in all, I realize after this night that I am never drinking alcohol again even though I was never at any point in this night drunk. I'm atleast never drinking until next weekend.