Another day online, another day of tournaments

This was a disappointing night of tournaments, again. I end up winning small at the end of the night but that was it. Not the big break and the big cash that I really, really need.

I played the $5.50 rebuy went on that super hot streak and I was playing well, I didn't get my chips in bad a single time and I was really happy with how I was playing. Then I run into two hands that totally take the wind out of me, Austin had just came over (maybe he's my unlucky charm) and was watching me play. First I lose this one, when the average is just around 200k and I have 650k.

PokerStars Game #6975078782: Tournament #35144408, $5.00+$0.50 Hold'em No Limit - Level XVIII (6000/12000) - 2006/11/10 - 23:21:24 (ET)
Table '35144408 208' 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: chrissy25 (172490 in chips)
Seat 2: BernieV (94620 in chips)
Seat 3: Bebert004 (289606 in chips)
Seat 4: 1st_BAT (139758 in chips)
Seat 5: shae juan (169868 in chips)
Seat 6: cashmany (170873 in chips)
Seat 7: dimitzio (230463 in chips)
Seat 8: Gowon (659587 in chips)
Seat 9: Cabbagehead (119824 in chips)
chrissy25: posts the ante 600
BernieV: posts the ante 600
Bebert004: posts the ante 600
1st_BAT: posts the ante 600
shae juan: posts the ante 600
cashmany: posts the ante 600
dimitzio: posts the ante 600
Gowon: posts the ante 600
Cabbagehead: posts the ante 600
Gowon: posts small blind 6000
Cabbagehead: posts big blind 12000
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Gowon [Qh Ah]
chrissy25: folds
BernieV: folds
Bebert004: folds
1st_BAT: folds
shae juan: folds
cashmany: folds
dimitzio: raises 24000 to 36000
Gowon: raises 622987 to 658987 and is all-in
Cabbagehead: folds
dimitzio: calls 193863 and is all-in
*** FLOP *** [3d 8h 2c]
*** TURN *** [3d 8h 2c] [3c]
*** RIVER *** [3d 8h 2c 3c] [2s]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Gowon: shows [Qh Ah] (two pair, Threes and Deuces)
dimitzio: shows [Js Jd] (two pair, Jacks and Threes)
dimitzio collected 477126 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 477126 | Rake 0
Board [3d 8h 2c 3c 2s]
Seat 1: chrissy25 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: BernieV folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: Bebert004 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: 1st_BAT folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: shae juan folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: cashmany folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: dimitzio (button) showed [Js Jd] and won (477126) with two pair, Jacks and Threes
Seat 8: Gowon (small blind) showed [Qh Ah] and lost with two pair, Threes and Deuces
Seat 9: Cabbagehead (big blind) folded before Flop


That is just a standard coinflip, so no sweat, just was bad that the pot was so huge. Then I make this call that was a tough one but ended up being correct, and this one stung a wee bit more.

PokerStars Game #6975386049: Tournament #35144408, $5.00+$0.50 Hold'em No Limit - Level XX (10000/20000) - 2006/11/10 - 23:42:42 (ET)
Table '35144408 208' 9-max Seat #8 is the button
Seat 1: l4t1n (173013 in chips)
Seat 2: BernieV (166240 in chips)
Seat 3: Bebert004 (202296 in chips)
Seat 4: Deep Denial (330474 in chips)
Seat 5: He's full of (163474 in chips)
Seat 6: KURRKOBRA (207385 in chips)
Seat 7: dimitzio (625999 in chips)
Seat 8: Gowon (573220 in chips)
Seat 9: Cabbagehead (273648 in chips)
l4t1n: posts the ante 1000
BernieV: posts the ante 1000
Bebert004: posts the ante 1000
Deep Denial: posts the ante 1000
He's full of: posts the ante 1000
KURRKOBRA: posts the ante 1000
dimitzio: posts the ante 1000
Gowon: posts the ante 1000
Cabbagehead: posts the ante 1000
Cabbagehead: posts small blind 10000
l4t1n: posts big blind 20000
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Gowon [Qc Ac]
BernieV: folds
Bebert004: folds
Deep Denial: folds
He's full of: folds
KURRKOBRA: raises 186385 to 206385 and is all-in
dimitzio: folds
Gowon: raises 186385 to 392770
Cabbagehead: folds
l4t1n: folds
*** FLOP *** [Th 3d 6c]
*** TURN *** [Th 3d 6c] [6s]
*** RIVER *** [Th 3d 6c 6s] [8c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
KURRKOBRA: shows [8h Jh] (two pair, Eights and Sixes)
Gowon: shows [Qc Ac] (a pair of Sixes)
KURRKOBRA collected 451770 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 451770 | Rake 0
Board [Th 3d 6c 6s 8c]
Seat 1: l4t1n (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 2: BernieV folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: Bebert004 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: Deep Denial folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: He's full of folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: KURRKOBRA showed [8h Jh] and won (451770) with two pair, Eights and Sixes
Seat 7: dimitzio folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: Gowon (button) showed [Qc Ac] and lost with a pair of Sixes
Seat 9: Cabbagehead (small blind) folded before Flop

Once again I would've been over 800k and gigantic chipleader, this time we had like 45 players left out of 2100. I just can't seem to get lucky late.

Then we're down to 20, almost down to two tables. The chipleader has a disgusting stack he has 3,3 million with the average at 650k. I'm short with 330k and he opens on the button, I gave him a wide range of hands even though I think he will call with most of it but he makes a gross call with K9o to knock me out. Once again it has to be on the river.

PokerStars Game #6975798591: Tournament #35144408, $5.00+$0.50 Hold'em No Limit - Level XXI (15000/30000) - 2006/11/11 - 00:13:13 (ET)
Table '35144408 208' 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: l4t1n (493401 in chips)
Seat 3: Bebert004 (260296 in chips)
Seat 4: wincent1 (312636 in chips)
Seat 5: little b33 (1322548 in chips)
Seat 6: KURRKOBRA (939588 in chips)
Seat 7: Menyook (3227909 in chips)
Seat 8: Gowon (325835 in chips)
l4t1n: posts the ante 1500
Bebert004: posts the ante 1500
wincent1: posts the ante 1500
little b33: posts the ante 1500
KURRKOBRA: posts the ante 1500
Menyook: posts the ante 1500
Gowon: posts the ante 1500
Gowon: posts small blind 15000
l4t1n: posts big blind 30000
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Gowon [7h 7c]
Bebert004: folds
wincent1: folds
little b33: folds
KURRKOBRA: folds
Menyook: raises 60000 to 90000
Gowon: raises 234335 to 324335 and is all-in
l4t1n: folds
Menyook: calls 234335
*** FLOP *** [Th Ac 2d]
*** TURN *** [Th Ac 2d] [4s]
*** RIVER *** [Th Ac 2d 4s] [Kh]
Gowon said, "man"
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Gowon: shows [7h 7c] (a pair of Sevens)
Menyook: shows [9s Kd] (a pair of Kings)
Gowon said, "i am running so bad"
Menyook collected 689170 from pot
Menyook said, "sorry"
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 689170 | Rake 0
Board [Th Ac 2d 4s Kh]
Seat 1: l4t1n (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: Bebert004 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: wincent1 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: little b33 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: KURRKOBRA folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: Menyook (button) showed [9s Kd] and won (689170) with a pair of Kings
Seat 8: Gowon (small blind) showed [7h 7c] and lost with a pair of Sevens

I'm sort of just wishing that I would run good for a little while and take one down, I feel like I'm playing the best poker I've ever played and I'm continuously losing money? Am I really overvaluing myself that much or can you run bad for six months? I'm afraid its the former and not the latter but I keep getting my money in good in tournaments just can't catch anything. It is really getting to me and I'm developing alcoholism in the process! I knew I needed to get some habit to keep me busy.

I won two satellites on Full Tilt. I won a main event ($530) seat and a $215 seat to their first event this coming Sunday. I end up breaking about even in cashgames and I think all in all for the day I win the two seats and $250. I'm still so grossed out about how this night ended up that I want to run my head through a wall. Fuck poker.